Holidays and birthdays can be tough for those going through a divorce. However, these days can also be utilized to focus on ways to make the end of your relationship easier for you and your soon-to-be-ex. Even though it can be a real challenge, an amicable divorce is possible for many people. A divorce does not have to be a bitter, combative affair.
When emotions are running high, it can be hard to know how to divorce amicably. But there are several things you can do to reduce your stress, make it less stressful on the children, and keep things more peaceful throughout the process.
Tips on Keeping Your Divorce Peaceful
Here are five tips on how to have an amicable divorce:
- Focus on what is fair instead of trying to punish your former partner. It can be difficult — but it can be done. Punitive actions, in the end, wind up making the divorce process more acrimonious. They can also cause unnecessary and stressful delays during negotiations in the divorce.
- Leave the kids out of it. While you should, of course, talk to your children about the changes they can expect, do not complain to your children about your ex. It can be tempting to vent your frustrations about what the other parent said or did that you didn’t like or wasn’t fair, but this type of behavior is not fair to the kids. It puts enormous stress on children when you put them in the middle and can lead to a higher strain on everyone involved. Working on making it a more amicable divorce will not only reduce the emotional difficulties on the kids in the short term, but it will also make for better health (emotional and physical) for the long term.
- If relations have become strained, choose neutral locations when you have to meet. This keeps the “power dynamic” on a level playing field and makes it so you do not have to deal with difficult memories that can be spurred by being in a place of real familiarity. If you need to sign papers, exchange possessions, or drop off the kids, meet in a park or restaurant instead of either of your homes. This way, no one has a home turf advantage, and you are each more comfortable. Parks are great areas if you have young children too. Keeping them busy while you two need to talk about something that is good for everyone.
- Don’t bad mouth your ex to mutual friends. It will be complicated enough to manage your friendships anyway — and people need their friends when going through very stressful experiences. At best, it can make your friends feel awkward, and like they are being asked to take sides. At worst, your words can get back to your former spouse and cause further discord between you. This can be a huge obstacle and is not a way to have a divorce amicably.
- Take care of yourself. It’s hard to be pleasant and reasonable when you are not feeling your best. There are many things you can do for self-care. Try to get enough rest. Strive to eat healthily and not eat too much sugar or drinking too many caffeinated beverages. Those highs and lows can make you feel anxious and nervous. Engage in anti-stress activities such as yoga or meditation. Go for evening walks after a long day at work. Take a long bath and read a book. You may need to try different things, but taking care of yourself is so essential to get you through this tough time and have a more amicable divorce. Although it can be hard to find emotional equilibrium during this tough time, the better you treat your mental, emotional and physical health, the better you will be able to handle the divorce in a civil manner.
Contact Us for a Free Office Consultation
As a divorce attorney, Dean Tsourakis understands how difficult it is. He has been helping clients through the divorce process for years. Having an amicable divorce is challenging, but having an experienced lawyer makes a huge impact — acting as a guide through the legal aspects and leading as an advocate for your needs and rights.
Contact us today or call us at 727-785-2700 for a free office consultation. Dean specializes in Collaborative Divorce based on the ideas of open communication and mutual respect between parties, facilitating an amicable divorce for the best interests of the parents and children. Whatever the situation, he is here to help and would be happy to discuss the details at no cost to you. Covering multiple aspects of Family Law, Dean Tsourakis provides expert legal counsel in Divorce, Child Custody, Child Support, and more.
on Feb 12, 2012