Whether you were shocked by his/her announcement or felt it coming on for a while, a spouse asking for a divorce brings about all sorts of questions. If there’s no chance for reconciliation, here are a few ways to start getting your life back together.
What to Do If Your Spouse Wants a Divorce
Know What Your Divorce Options Are
Contacting an attorney isn’t about taking your spouse to the cleaners. Getting in touch with a divorce attorney is the best first step even if you’re not sure you’re ready for a divorce. He/she can explain the process and the different types of endings to a marriage (divorce, annulment, etc.). Even as part of a divorce there are different forms it can take that are less disruptive to a family.
When you announce your separation from your spouse, everyone will have an opinion and a story to tell about divorce. Before you go through the he said, she said, find out what your rights and options are.
Find a Good Listener
Divorce has a major impact on everyone’s life. Even if it was wanted and expected, a large change is occurring. Finding someone you trust, who is a good listener, is essential to your recovery. While it’s understandable to turn to a friend or family member, they may be no better suited to helping you through the situation than you are.
Consider seeking the help of a professional to sort through your emotions. There are a number of things that are probably bothering you – loss of trust, abandonment, fear, guilt, maybe even thoughts of failure. A professional understands what you’re currently dealing with and what phases of grief you can expect in your future.
The other benefit of a professional is an unbiased opinion and ear. Involving friends and family in the sordid details of your divorce, makes it very difficult to uninvite them should their attitudes turn caustic. Plus a professional has heard concerns like yours before and is not emotionally overwrought by the event, as some of your confidants may be.
Seek Financial Counseling
Divorce is ending a marriage and when emotions are tied up in a life event of this magnitude, it is hard to think clearly. However, the last thing you want to add to heartache is financial concerns. See a financial professional right away. If you have minor children, the courts will ensure your homes are equalized financially at the divorce, but this could be months away.
Know what you have, what your spouse has, and create a budget. You may now be stretching one income to cover two households so meeting with a financial person will help you better understand your options.
Talk to Your Spouse
It’s difficult to open the lines of communication when someone tells you they no longer want to honor their commitment to you. Pride frequently brings out emotional responses that lead to the breakdown of communication. If you have children, stepping outside of the hurt and putting grievances aside, to have a conversation of how you will raise them in a respectful atmosphere is of the utmost importance. You don’t have to do this alone. You can seek out the help of a mediator.
If you’d like to talk to someone about the next steps, the options you have during the divorce process, call The Law Office of Dean Tsourakis at 727-785-2700.on Nov 11, 2014